Our Blended Family Story: 8 Years of Love, Challenges, and Growth!

Eight years ago, we started our journey as two single, separated parents with one daughter each.

Over the first few months, we got to know each other, spent the most amazing times together and introduced our daughters to each other. We thought we were on the way to creating a happy, blended family. But like most blended families, our road was anything but easy!

At first, we faced the typical struggles; our girls had trouble getting along (as they struggled to share their things and our time), our parenting styles clashed, co-parenting with exes was horrific and some external family members weren’t as supportive, as we'd have liked. As we tried to navigate it all, tensions grew and we struggled to close the divide.

When we got married, I hoped things would improve, but instead, they seemed to worsen. In trying to maintain peace, my husband made decisions that drove a wedge between us all, leaving me feeling extremely isolated and alone. I felt like I had become a scapegoat for blame. My husband found it challenging to prioritise our family and shield us from assumptions and judgements. Co-parenting, in light of this, was incredibly difficult. Communication had broken down, and external influences were unhelpful. I felt as though everything was my responsibility.

When we welcomed our baby boy into the mix, we felt a new sense of purpose. Our little family had pulled together and we made such beautiful memories. However, the pressure became overwhelming from external family members. I reached my breaking point and left my husband, I even started the divorce process. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, however I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on the same loop, or having our little humans experience it any longer.

We had both moved on and didn’t plan to look back. My husband had attempted to reach out several times, fully owning his part, and the kids missed each other too. As we both worked on self-improvement, our way of communicating changed. Gradually, we started to move forwards, making the difficult decision to go 'no contact' with anyone who brought persistent negativity into our lives. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

Co-parenting got better when we started communicating openly and focused on moving forwards for our little humans. We reached this point because we all agreed on wanting a peaceful life, with mutual respect and communication.

Together, my husband and I agreed to prioritise our family. We discovered tools and strategies that suited us and stopped worrying about meeting others' expectations.

After years of ups and downs, huge wins and heartbreaking struggles, we’re figuring out how to work together and set good examples for our little ones. We’re not perfect, and we never will be. But we’re learning to focus on our little family, and let the rest take care of itself.

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Having a supportive family is wonderful, but if you don't have that, the most remarkable people often come from the family we choose.

We are surrounded by a beautiful circle of people, who support both us and our children. We are incredibly grateful for these kind humans! It's important to distance yourself from those who try to define you. Life is too short!

If any of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. Blending a family is one of the hardest things you can do, but it’s also one of the most rewarding. If our story can help even just one family, it would be incredible!

Share this with a friend who might need it, or reach out to us, we’re here to help!

Blended Living x